The Pixelthinker.com blog

I daydream a lot about innovative ideas. Dreaming is a wonderful thing. You can have anything you want for no money and enjoy it for as long as the daydream lasts. You can design a new building out of combination of solid gold and unobtainium and not have to spend a penny. Within my imagination, I can design any innovative design – both practical and silly – that I’d never be able to afford to have in real life.

I was reading some article on innovations in home security the other day. It made me think of what kind of home security features I’d have in a house daydream.

My ultimate, custom-made, nonexistent home would include a secret fireproof crawlspace that is connected to every room. Got a burglar in the house? No problem. I’d escape through the secret crawlspace panel hiding in the wall or floor!

You know the tube-shaped water slides you see in some amusement parks? Well, I’d have that kind of slide/chute (without the water) that starts with the hidden crawlspace series of tubes and ends in a secret underground room some distance away from the house.

(Then again, you are reading this from a creative-thinking female geek who actually dreams of owning and designing her own amphibious motorhome. I never claimed to have the kind of intellect that could be easily confined behind a normal, suburban, white picket fence.)

Which brings us to the film “Panic Room”. I’ve never seen the film, but I’d read enough reviews to understand what it is about. As usual, I started thinking how I’d put a twist on that reality. After combining that with my escape-chute daydreams, I ended up with a whole new scenario that made me grin.

My new daydream: I want to see some humorous independent film-maker do a little parody on “Panic Room” that goes something like this:

House owners buy house, discover it has a panic room. Cool.

A few weeks later, some annoying, fully-armed home invaders do their being-terrifying thing. Owners hide in panic room.

Insert a scene of house owners being threatened, tension runs high, things get all suspenseful…

…then one of the owners discovers a note on the wall above the hidden trapdoor, describing the escape slide chute into the outdoor hidden room. They also find out that the hidden outdoor room shares the same intercom system as the panic room.

The owners go from panicking to grinning at each other.

Off they go down the slide. They end up in the hidden underground room. Cool.

Once in the underground bunker, they pop their heads up through the aboveground entrance to see the intruders in the window still trying to talk to them on the house intercom.

House owners proceed to turn the intruders from scary thugs to dumbasses by using the intercom system to pretend that they are still scared and stuck in the panic room. It eventually turns into taunting the intruders and telling them rather rude things about their immediate ancestors, etc. before they finally get around to calling the cops.

PWNED!

Not sure how my fantasy short film would end. Probably would need some comedy reference to some actual incident in the film.

If you have a bright idea to improve this short-film daydream, write it in the comments.